Tag Archives: Fertilisation

XX vs XY

9 Mar

(inappropriate introduction here)

so i’m on twitter today, eating cereal, just minding my business, then all of a sudden, the TT changes to #typeofsex, and i felt like that was my calling for the day, so i quickly put on my cape and shiny underpants, pull out my gadget and start saving the day…

at this point i feel like saying that this blog is not gonna be 100% about sex *cough*

so seeing as men and women are so awesomely painfully different, i have noticed that different sex positions appeal to each; i like it one way, he prefers it the other :|. i was gonna put a poll up and get proper research done (cos u know, im wearing the cape and saving the day and all of that goodness), but i already know how unresponsive u, yes U guys can be…

so i’m just gonna pull from my vast experiences and some random tweets and freestyle up in this b****

so here goes nothing…

top sex types/positions for women:

1. the one with champagne, chocolates (as if this affects the sex in any way), rose petals sprinkled on the bedding, candles. …, Gerald butler is also there, and sometimes, your man leaves the two of you alone…and its just you and Gerald…

2. the one where im propped up on the kitchen counter, and its hot and sweaty and grimy and hes doing the dishes also, and vacuuming the floor,  and if he can’t multitask, he can do the dishes first…the kpanshing part is optional

3. missionary position (whoop whoop), why? because we get to lie on our backs, and suck in the belly fat, and we can move our arms in ways that seem to make us overly sexy, and he doesn’t get to grab the indian remi weave (best part), and the boobs look perky and ambitious, this position removes 10pounds guaranteed. its like live photoshop…

4. reverse cowgirl, reverse rocketboy, any position that can be reversed really…

5. the one where your comfortable enough to fart during sex without judgement. because really, if that option is not available, you’re just gonna b there, holding it in….thinking its just gonna pop out anytime, and that can be really traumatizing…*stops self from emotional breakdown*

6. the one where I’m with someone I love and who loves and respects me right back. when this happens time stops, puppies make cute sounds, you guys stare in each others eyes. some people go as far as saying they had more than sex, a deeper connection yadi yadi yadda. Or with the cucumber

top sex types/positions for men:

1. The one where he gets to have sex.

did i miss anything?