to fly or to fall…

20 Apr

im prolly not gonna broadcast this post, or proof read it for that matter, its just rolling of the top of my head and for some reason, this is its exit…

the fear of failure sucks, it. just. sucks. so. hard.

i find faults in everything i do, i instantly hate everything i do, i am a chief worrier (i think this position should come with a gun and a badge, but those police folks are playing hard ball)

and im not even talking about relationships, cos i never win there, apparently its something with the way the sun reflects on my hair that makes me look like a ho….. i just dont understand it

but yeah,

the truth of the matter is that i prolly need to grow up (but i would never start using capital letters, that shit is for the birds)…or something like that, and get used to falling and getting back up again as opposed to falling and dying there which is kinda how i operate,

anyways, i decided to call my paranoia ‘Ben’, since he’s gonna be here for a while… say hi to Ben guys….

dont call me crazy.

brb

Advertisements

9 Responses to “to fly or to fall…”

  1. jayajade April 20, 2011 at 16:51 #

    Even though the “apparently its something with the way the sun reflects on my hair that makes me look like a ho…” part is really funny, I kinda feel ya on this one…I know you didn’t ask for advice or anything like that but here it goes- DON’T GROW UP!!! Seriously dude I swear its the beginning of the end. Watch cartoons and throw a hissy fit now and again a little childishness is good for ur health. Work hard but don’t take yourself to seriously and watch many many cartoons. I’m not saying become a hedonist (cos really too much of everything is, well, too much :D) Really though in those dark, japanese-horror-movie-days (really psycho stuff) I tell myself if I give up and be invisible whose loss? So I get up again dust my cute bum and get on with it….falling is at least 25% of the fun to be had. Laugh, dance, live.
    Ps. Sorry about the length 🙂

    • Zara April 21, 2011 at 09:45 #

      awww ((HUGS)) tnkz boo, appreciate it… growing up is for babies 😀

  2. 'Jibòla April 22, 2011 at 12:15 #

    This is me. ☹

  3. Saeon April 22, 2011 at 16:48 #

    here’s what i do when i’m down/scared i find that person/those people that sprinkles ginger slices on me…
    sometimes its family, other times its friends, and a few other times, its people i don’t even know and vice versa (yeah, anonimity is sometimes kpataki).

    sometimes, all one needs is motivation :*

    Hi Ben 🙂

  4. Dee O. April 24, 2011 at 23:01 #

    I can be the EXACT same way :/ I worry about EVERYTHING and I find fault is so much of what I do as well…but I believe it’s just a phase. This too shall pass lol!

    I really love the way you write, it’s so engaging! And I love how you named your paranoia ‘Ben’! Lmao, that is definitely something I would do. Just remember that we are ALL human and we are all prone to making mistakes but it is from the missteps & the mishaps that we become stronger & wiser.

    That GOOD GOOD Blog

  5. MsJulz April 24, 2011 at 23:45 #

    Generally, extremely happy people piss me off. I want to chase them around and beat them with a stick…or run them over with my car and hope they get cut by my rusty exhaust and die from tetanus.

    When im sad, i listen to rap and pretend i have beef with a gang in LA. I think about a life stuck having a blue bandana hanging down my left side and trousers that can never be on my waist. Then i realize the shit i’m in isnt half bad.

  6. jayajade April 25, 2011 at 22:50 #

    You’re welcome dearie… Lmao @ MsJulz’s comment….tetanus lol

  7. kitkat April 28, 2011 at 04:23 #

    Trust me girl, most people are chief worriers jst like u! I know i personally worry about almost every single detail of my life..smh. Thats why they say we are our own worst critics.. dnt stress yourself 🙂
    nice blog 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 4 players: age dont matter « 404 File Not Found - May 2, 2011

    […] to fly or to fall… (pinkbullets33.wordpress.com) […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: